Hello and welcome
to my channel Act on Mental Health. Today we have a special guest. This is my wife, Ashley, and my name is Sean. If you don't know me and I'm a licensed mental health
counselor here in the state of Indiana, and on this channel, we talk about
acceptance and commitment therapy and today we're going to be talking
about the topic of stress. So let's get started. Ashley, what are some things
that bring you stress? Children need money. house cleaning? Yeah. Calendar. Yeah.
I'm thinking right along those lines. I think some of mine are at work. You know, the hours that I'm on the road. And believe it or not, couples
counseling makes me stressful.
So my watch will sometimes tell me,
you know, to relax. So today
we're going to be talking about that. And if you wouldn't mind showing them
a workbook, this is a workbook that I use
or stress management. So we're going to go step by step
over the next few videos and help
break down stress and how to relax. Stress is a natural response to any situation
that we find difficult.
In this picture,
the man is so distracted by his thoughts and feelings
that he's like a fish caught on a hook. When he is hooked by these thoughts
and feelings, he's not able to fully concentrate
on playing with his children. When hot, we are often pulled away
from our values or what's important to us. On the left side are examples
of what can happen when we are pulled away from our values.
For example,
we might argue with other people on the right side, our examples of moving
toward our values and doing the things that give our lives meaning,
such as helping or caring for others. Getting hooked means that are difficult. Thought or feeling has taken your
attention away from what you are doing. For example,
you are talking with your friends. Then you start thinking about something
stressful. This hooks you. You get lost in your thoughts and cannot focus on talking
with your friends anymore. A client made an excellent point
about being hooked like a fish that was in the water,
enjoying a nice swim. Then all of a sudden
the hook takes them away from what they're doing into a new and strange place
away from the water. And it's precisely
what hooking is like in terms of stress. When we get hooked, our behavior changes.
We often start doing things
that make our lives worse. We might get more argumentative,
withdraw from others, or may attempt to sleep off the stress. We call these behaviors and act away moves because when we act in this way,
we're moving away from our values. Stress takes a toll, and soon
these small steps away create more distance from the life
that is supporting us. If you've enjoyed the content of this
video, don't forget to hit the like button and subscribe! So what can we do? Well, that's
what this course will help you with. In this first video, we're going
to cover the concept of grounding, which helps us do two things to focus
and to engage. Most people
find that as they get more stressed, they get more distracted
to focus and engage simply means to give your full attention
to any activity you are doing.
So if that's listening to music, eating,
drinking, or sitting in a cubicle doing the activity with your full attention,
when hooked by thoughts or feelings, you are disengaged or distracted
and you are unfocused. And when we do things in an unfocused
and distracted way, we often do them poorly or are unable to enjoy the activity
and feel dissatisfied. So if you can learn to be more engaged
and focus better, then you can handle stress better. But if stress is causing us
to be distracted, how can we expect to be focused? Well, it won't be easy, but because there's a relationship,
they influence one another. So we could become unfocused by stress. But we can also relax by becoming focus. Now, if you're stressed, that
last statement me a major head hurt. Let's try an exercise that may help this point
make more sense. Grab a cup and fill up halfway. Fill with water. First, focus your full attention on it. Notice the drink with curiosity, as if you have never encountered
such a drink before. Notice its color or translucency. Savor the smell of it.
Feel the weight of the cup in your hand. Next, sip it slowly and let it sit on your top. Feel it on your tea and savor the taste. Then swallow. Lastly, as you continue to do this for a few moments, you may have thoughts
or feelings that hook you. If so, refocus on the drink and practice engaging
and focusing fully in this moment. This exercise can be done
during any stressful situation by slowing down
and refocusing on the activity, and using your five senses
to notice the full details of the moment. And if you're being hooked, unhook
by refocusing and engaging in what you're doing. As I mentioned earlier, when when you are stressed, difficult
thoughts and feelings usually appear. They are a natural part
of any type of stress, but when a lot of difficult thoughts
and feelings appear all at once, they can overcome us
and we can get lost in them and act.
We call this an emotional storm. What is an emotional storm? An emotional storm is the feeling of being overpowered
by difficult thoughts and feelings. Emotional storms might be full of sadness
and loss and grief, or full of anger,
or full of fear or worry. Some emotional storms are so big
they contain all of these things. They can be so strong. They are like a mighty storm
and they can easily overpower you. We can unhook ourselves
with a method called grounding. Imagine you are high in a tree
when a storm begins. Would you want to stay in the tree while you are in the tree? You are in great danger.
You need to get down to the ground
as quickly as possible on the ground. You are much safer and on the ground
you can help others. For example, you could comfort others
while the storm rages and if there is somewhere safe
for you to hide, you can only get there
after you are on the ground. Grounding has three main steps,
and so for these I'm going to have Ashley demonstrate
so you can follow along at home. Step one notice how you're feeling
and what you're thinking right now. Are you feeling stressed
or caught and an emotional storm? Step two slow down and connect with your body. You can do this a number of ways,
but some of the ways that I would recommend
is to push your feet into the floor and then begin to stretch. You can stretch down to your toes. You can stretch outward, or you can even press your fingers
together to feel that tension.
Then connect with your body
by focusing on your breathing. So you can choose to slow your breathing. Breathe in through your nose
and then slowly exhale to your mouth. Or you can just observe
how your breathing naturally. Step three refocus on the world
around you. Paying attention with curiosity to what
you're doing and what you can see here. Touch, taste and smell. Grounding does not need to take long. You can practice anytime, anywhere, even just for a minute or two minutes
with your eyes open.
Even if it's not quiet around you,
you can do this while washing dishes,
while driving or cooking. Grounding is especially helpful
during stressful situations or an emotional storm. When you are angry
or frustrated with your children. When you cannot sleep. When you can't stop thinking
about bad things from the past, or worrying about the future. Now that you know the basics of grounding and concepts, of being hooked
by difficult thoughts or feelings, consider making a plan to practice
grounding in the next week. Consider when you will do this,
where might be a good place, and how many times
each day would be ideal. That's it for this session and for tool. One of grounding in the next session
will develop the next tool of unhooking and build off the skills
of noticing an important skill of needing. Remember your journey to a more purposeful
and mindful life begins with a single click..
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